IT’S THE FUTURE AND I’M STILL JOURNALING

12

“One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs, Or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls.”

Chapter 26, A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Hosseini

Walls… They are often known to bound you, confine you. Never do we ever acknowledge that these walls build a world of your own for you. Behind these walls, you are who you are,  for yourself to see and feel. You choose who to let in behind those carefully placed, yet wobbly red bricks. They free you from the harsh humankind which constantly watches you, as you conceal yourself under the roof of sophistication. 

I built a world of my own behind these walls. The walls that introduced me to a dimension I didn’t know existed. I made an art account. Let me tell you before we dive in: I suck at art (Yes, present tense!).

So why did you create an art account, again?

*shrugs*

Not only this, I had the audacity to join an art group chat. I had no particular art style. I had no prior experience, and I was just an amateur with A4 size papers and dried watercolors. After I introduced myself under a cheesy alias of Kat (don’t judge me), I had a random conversation with 25 bunch of strangers from different parts of the world with a shimmer in their eyes that I couldn’t witness. It didn’t take me more than an hour to reconsider my decision of being there because these people had a ‘collaboration’ planned, and it felt like this world wasn’t where I belonged. I immediately texted the group members that I had planned to leave, and in a matter of 10 seconds, I had 3 DMs filled with motivation waiting for me.

I want to mention @plan_with_delilah, who told me to take up my materials and write or draw whatever I liked and with how much ever little energy or effort it takes. And I’d like to present the masterpiece which I detest so much but still wouldn’t care if anyone’s judging:

If you’re an art person reading this, let me tell you I was very proud of this. So, very boldly, I decided to be a part of their collaboration based on the theme of moons. It took me one hour to make this but here:

Khaled Hosseini’s book owned a special place in my heart already; and looking back at it, all I can think of is how it gave a completely different turn to the interpretation it has. Social media is a world that can astonishingly discourage you with its ever-changing algorithm, but under the same roof and behind the same walls, you are awaited and celebrated.

Fast forward to the moment I made a hand-made journal and started art journaling with pieces of my own poetry, and fast forward to the moment I brought my very own first journal. It wasn’t perfect. The pages were way too thick for the paint to seep in; the binding was way too stringent for me to turn pages. Fevistick wouldn’t work on those pages. But it was my first journal!

*turns the pages and shows favourite journal entries*

Over the span of a year, I lost track of posting on the one platform that boosted me and gave me atleast one friend in roughly every single country of the world. I let the page that gave me my art style slip away from me and I let journaling slip away from me. Every art block that I’ve had never lasted for more than 5 days and this one that I recently encountered took away 6 months from me. This is what I made after that:

I read somewhere how working on certain things can be like getting in a shower… you don’t want to start but once you do, you don’t want to end it. This is just a reminder for you to get in the shower because I did and I am back to journaling again. I am discovering new styles, exploring new materials, working on myself, and I don’t plan to stop. Why? I don’t want to do it out of the need for perfection. I want to do it because I like it, and I speak through it.

Do whatever it takes to polish that red wall of bricks, and maybe, cement it one day if you’re comfortable, but don’t stop. Keep going, because you’re never going to get enough of it. There’s always going to be more to it despite what you have in the present. For me, my art can see the future and I’m still journaling.

Special mention: @heartartbysweta, @red_dirt_flys , @journali.ng, @penpal.tabi, @prettylittlepagess, @artjmimi

These are my favourite art people, honestly, there are SO many more but the list can go on.

Me: @journalbykat

P.S: A mention to these accounts has been given after due permission from them.

(Disclaimer: The thoughts and interpretations throughout the article are subjective and open to comprehension.)

Art and Words by:
Khushi Dani (Batch 2023)

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