Choices

12

For the longest time I lived like a doll,
existing the way I was supposed to be.
I thought I chose it,
but little did I know
some choices didn’t belong to me.

Pushed to fit into a box,
because how could I ever be different?
So for their convenience
and maybe mine too
I chose to close my eyes and pretend.

I wonder if she’s just as beautiful as I remember
with the moonlight bouncing off her eyes
as she slipped her hand in mine
as if I was her favourite person
I swear I didn’t choose the butterflies

But life happened as it always does
and came with it excruciating pain
things slipped out of my fingers,
the more I held on tightly
Alas, it was a choice I made in vain.

But guess what?
it’s like I woke up looking at the world
in high definition colours
as if my soul had settled back into my body;
A choice I finally accepted, without a word.

All the guilty feelings and stolen glances
suddenly felt reasonable for once,
it was time the façade ended.
I didn’t choose to feel this way
yet I’m glad that I took the chance.

I have made up my mind
that I don’t have to explain my ways
to anyone at all;
For I choose to follow my heart
and no, it’s not just a phase.

I want to put it out there
how you look or what you were,
doesn’t really matter to me.
just know that when I choose you,
it will be because of who you are.

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Yukta Kulkarni
(Batch 2022)